Once upon a tea time community event – raising awareness of the impact of substance misuse on affected others.
My colleague Emma Ward was awarded some funding from Adfam to put on a
community event to raise awareness around the impact of substance
misuse on family members. Emma’s role is to work with adults affected by
a loved one’s substance misuse, meaning that our families’ link
together on occasions and therefore our work compliments each other in
supporting families that are living with a substance misusing family
member.
Emma felt that it would be a good idea to put on an informal
community event that was not a means of training but more raising
awareness. We put our thinking caps on and talked about when we had
learnt the most from our clients and what was the biggest impact on us,
but also putting in elements of life we enjoy and what we felt others
would too. We both agreed that our clients stories of survival and
resilience were what touched us the most and made us remember how strong
our clients are and helped us change ways in our working practise. We
both agreed the day should include the voices of our clients but needed
to work out the most suited way to do this to protect our clients and
ensure best practise in our community event. The next element we needed
was what would make professionals attend, we thought about the stresses
and strain professionals feel in their professional roles and how
offering complimentary chair massages maybe a way of encouraging others
to attend. We also thought of what people do when listening to stories
or when reading books and thought of the old tradition of tea and cake…
we could see it in our heads, flowers on tables with old fashioned
dollies, tea and cake for all, a complimentary therapist with her
relaxing music in the corner and listening to the voices of people
affected by another’s substance misuse and with that once upon a tea
time was born.
The day was amazing, more amazing then we both could have dreamed of,
with a guest list of 58 and 10 speakers ready to share their story’s,
Emma and I are were racked with nerves and excitement. The venue looked
lovely, I brought my collection of tea pots and we used a local florist
to put together cute posies of flowers which nestled into each teapot,
Emma had found some dollies and they sat snugly under each teapot making
our centre piece of the table perfect for the theme of the event.
Sophie had set up her corner and had incense burning with relaxing music
for those requesting a 5 minute chair massage. The tea and cake was out
and ready for guests to arrive and take their seat.
In the main hall, as the guests arrived we played Fats Waller’s
dixieland, jazz and swing music, the air felt warm and the atmosphere
felt alive. It was the perfect feeling to the start of the event. All
guests were giving an information pack which included details of all the
agencies involved and an agenda of the day.
Our keynote speaker was Lorna Campbell, Lambeth Councillor who
started the day by talking of her experience of substance misuse and the
impact on families but also how important she felt it was that this
area was kept on the agenda.
Thanks again for inviting me. It was a good event. I will spread
the word as much as possible. This needs to continue so I am concerned
about possibility of losing funding. Do keep me informed.
Lorna Campbell (Lambeth Councillor)
All our speakers spoke excellently and filled the hearts of many
professionals with their own stories and the stories of their clients.
We had an array of professionals telling their own stories, clients
talking of their own experience of their children using substances
misuse, letters written by children and even a professional telling his
story of surviving his own substance misuse problems but making it out
the other side and now working as a assertive alcohol outreach worker.
It was a pleasure to be part of the day and warm the souls of front
line professionals working with families were substance misuse is
involved.
‘I left the event feeling filled and moved by all of the
testimonies, I was deeply touched when I heard the children’s
testimonies and how their parents substance misuse has impacted on
them. Having worked with Adults most of my life, I rarely hear or see
how the addiction impacts on the Child’
Angela Small (Area Manager, Lambeth Harbour)
Being more mindful of denial and stigma. I have been moved by
some of the stories I have heard today and how families cope, manage and
enable behaviour
Today has reinforced my wanting to work in this sector – and I
will carry on working towards my goal to work with children and families
Sam turned 28 in September so we took a trip to the white
isles of Ibiza, the week was blissful and we visited a new beach each
day.
We decided clubbing wouldn’t be on our agenda as the holiday was
more a relaxing beach holiday then a manic party fest. It was perfect;
we ate at delicious restaurants, enjoyed tasty wine and spent the week
enjoying the beauty of Ibiza.
My highlights had to be Café del Mar
sunset, Sam’s birthday drinks, secret beaches and general husband/wife
fun times. It was sad to see how different the sunset strip was to when I
first went eleven years ago, it has all be decked out and has more of a
pretentious vibe to it then the relaxed one it had in 2001. We were
amused that you couldn’t even sit on a bit of decking unless you bought a
£15 cocktail, changing times but still an amazing holiday with restful
vibes.
English festivals are a huge part of our lives and
both believe there is nothing better than the feeling of being outdoors
with people you love. We both feel a strong sense to the freedom you
feel outdoors and love nothing more than being in a field dancing the
night away (normally in the rain).
Sam and I first met at Glastonbury festival and at that time we were
both in very different times in our lives so nothing more than a smile
occurred. A few years later that all changed when I had moved to London
and chose to go out for some drinks with my brother and his friends,
when I arrived Sam was there, fate pulled us back together and we have
never looked back since. Glastonbury holds such great importance to us
both (Sam informed me after he proposed he was going to propose at
Glastonbury but was scared of losing the ring) therefore we knew it had
to be part of the theme we chose when planning and organizing our
wedding, traditional went out the window and Sam and Claire entered it.
Ruffled blog became an addiction for me (I even caught Sam taking
sneaky looks) and got so much inspiration from the weddings featured on
the site. We decided getting married outdoors was what we wanted, sadly
we soon found out that you need to be married in a licensed venue in
England, therefore that idea was out. It was important for us to get
married in England and somewhere which means something to us. Newcastle
upon Tyne is my home and we have both enjoyed visiting and heading to
Northumberland on country walks and farmhouse cafes. We came across High
House Farm Brewery on a whim and instantly decided we had to have part
of our day here, after much consideration we chose the ‘after’ part
would be held at this venue and the ceremony would beheld elsewhere.
My Mum works at Newcastle Civic Centre and took us there to look at
the staircase, although it wasn’t outside we both fell in love with the
grandness of it and both felt a feeling that it was the right place to
say I do. With both venues chosen it was time to get designing.
Bunting had to be part of the decoration; I adore bunting and wanted a
real vintage feel to the day. My Mum and Gran handmade 546 pennants for
the bunting, they stitched and ironed each one to make sure it was
perfect and would flow in the wind. When they were put up in the barn I
felt a glow in my heart and could see how right it was to have the
bunting, the barn looked amazing and so unbelievably pretty. Sam’s Mum
found the hearts in a little garden centre shop, we felt they added an
extra touch and loved the way they hung down giving the barn an extra
decorative touch.
Our table names were again cut and stitched by my Mum and Gran (my
stepdad cutting the luggage tags out). Our favours were acorns, when
thinking of our favours we knew that they are meant to resemble growth
and strength, we felt the acorn showed this and again was something
involved in the outdoor world. We wrote a special verse attached to the
acorn, so people could understand the meaning of why we felt the acorn
should be our favour.
‘A little acorn has the ability to grow into a big oak tree, we hope
you keep it safe and remember each year the strength the acorn has,
just like the love we hold for each other’
My advice for all brides would be to plan early; I did not feel
stressed leading up to the wedding more excited and enjoying planning
such a fun day. I could see nearer the date if my planning had not been
carried out early then the stress levels would have been high. Sam was
actively involved in all the planning, he was a perfect help and made
the whole thing easier by having an opinion and supporting me with
ideas. It was our day and therefore I feel the most important thing is
you plan it together, it has to be what you both want and a day you will
both remember.
We wanted the whole day to be personal and related to us, with that I
felt It was important not only Sam to do a speech that I did one too. I
wanted to tell him how much I loved him and give thanks to people who
had supported me in my life.
My best women also did a speech which meant so much, there two women I
hold so close to me and hearing there kind words moved me and made me
smile greatly.
My Mum gave me away, she is my life and my rock and there was no one else I would have rather had by my side.
Our save the date cards were taken in a photo booth in Budapest, we
loved the idea of sending everyone a small reminder with some photos we
loved. We also hired a photo booth for the evening, it went down a treat
and everyone was in line waiting for their chance to take home another
memory of the day.
Both our outfits were from high street shops, we decided that we
didn’t feel the need to spend a lot of money when you can find such
beautiful clothes without the expensive price tag. I knew I wanted
something floaty and fitting but a dress that felt like me and not
something I would feel uncomfortable in. A good friend, who designs
wedding jewellery made my hair band; again I wanted it to be personal
and everyone to be involved in the making of the day.
Our photographer Jack is a good friend who works in the photo
industry, other weddings I have been too I have felt the camera to be
intrusive and didn’t like the fact a stranger was taking such intimate
photo’s. With some gentle persuasion Jack agreed and it was the best
idea ever as he did a wonderful job and captured the day perfectly.
True Romance is my most favourite film and I believe the most
romantic love story, Sam always says the main theme music from it makes
him think of us, straight away I knew that was to be the music played as
I walked into the civic centre.
We played Blur Tender for our signing the register song, we are both
huge blur fans and love the words to the song, and we felt it apt for
this part of day.
When Sam and I got together he informed me he had never watched Juno,
it being one of my favourite films I made him watch it straight away,
from there he fell in love with the soundtrack. We always talk of the
main song from it being so beautiful and describing love in a very
beautiful way, therefore with this we knew when we became man and wife
we would leave to ‘All I want is you’. As we left and the song started
playing all our guests started clapping, it was a really special moment.
First Dance: Albion - Babyshambles
We wrote our own vows and felt again it was so important for them to be personal to us:
Finally I have found a place into which I fit perfectly safely and
securely with no doubts. No fears, no sadness, no tears, this place is
filled with happiness and laughter, yet it is peaceful enough to allow
me the freedom to live my life and be myself. This wonderful place which
I never believed really existed I have found finally, inside your arms,
inside your heart, inside your love.
And when we gave our rings to each other we added something important to us that we do for each other:
Samuel I give you this ring as a sign of my everlasting promise, I
vow to cherish you, respect you, tame your curly hair, leave love
letters in your lunch box and love you deeply till my body can love no
more. May this ring remind us of this amazing day, this special moment
and our forever together
Claire I give you this ring as a sign of my everlasting promise, I
vow to cherish you, respect you, make you warm toasty fires on cold
nights, always use the teapot when I make you a cup of and love you
deeply till my body can love no more. May this ring remind us of this
amazing day, this special moment and our forever together
Our rings were our both our grandma’s and my great grans wedding
bands, we had them melted down and made into two new rings. We felt this
meant so much as they are still with us and there rings being used to
bound a new marriage.
The craspedia (billy ball) flower was one of the first things I
decided on, found on ruffled I fell in love with this flower and needed
it in my wedding day, with Sam agreeing he liked the flower I contacted
my local florist and she made it her mission to track the yellow headed
flower down. The poise’s and button holes were all made with the
craspedia and Penny from Katherine’s did the most amazing job, when they
arrived I was so happy with how they looked and were exactly how I
wanted them to be.
I wanted my bridesmaids in a 50’s feel but also something they were
comfortable and happy in, because both girls have different features I
decided to put them in different colours. I think they both looked
adorable and the petticoat finished the dress off.
Sam’s Mum made our muddy chocolate cake and surprised us with the top being us two in our tent.
Like every festival the night ended with camping in a muddy field,
this way we could all be together and wake up with sore heads and big
smiles together.
When Sam and I were married I became Mrs Claire Austin, as a gift Sam
bought me a rose called Claire Austin, a perfect gift from my perfect
husband.
We made an emergency dash to Newcastle at the weekend to get
stuck into some final wedding preparations. We had jars to frost and
wood to paint and cut, all ready for the day, so this weekend turned
into a busy one of sorting and organising. Seeing it all come together
is an amazing feeling and knowing that every part is something special
to us means the whole day feels so personal and special.
We have had so many ideas that we have wanted to bring into the day
from all different places that we love and mean something to us. There
is a festival esk theme going on and anyone that knows us will know our
love for festivals, with flag installations, special flowers, specific
music, teapots and bunting it really has been a full time job planning,
preparing and sourcing all we want and need. Were nearly there now
though, we just hope everyone enjoys the day and takes pleasure from the
time we have put it to making it personal to us but more importantly
enjoyable for our guests.
Ordered a feast of cheese of these http://www.mons-cheese.co.uk/ cant wait to feast on this through the evening celebrations.
The sewing machine had retired and the sweat shop had closed
then Sam wanted some flags made… Yesterday was made up of stitching,
sowing and playing with pretty colours. The wedding is so close now and
still lots of DIY crafting to be done. Its so exciting to have such a
homemade feel to the wedding, i hope our guests enjoy it as much as we
(Mum and Gran) have enjoyed making everything.
The picture below is a sneak preview of the flags in store for the big day <3
I turned 29 and Sam and I decided to take a adventure and
head to the worthiest farm to see what life is like there without the
hustle and bustle of festival life. The weekend was amazing, not only
did the sun come out, the campsite was incredible cute and Worthy Farm
was as blissful as ever. We camped in Whooton 2.5 mile out of Pilton,
from there we walked into the festival sight and with our oldskool maps
in hand we found the entrance to the festival site. As we walked in we
recognised the entrance as the coach parking and reminicised of rain and
waiting in 2011, then the coach journey home lots sleeping festival
goers and memories of another great weekend. We spent our time, walking
around, sitting in front of the pyramid stage with cider in hand and
working out the different fields that held corn and crops rather then
wonky adults and excited children. As we made our way to the stone
circle we cam across the green fields pirate boat, excitement built and i
climbed aboard. The view of the pyramid stage in the background was
amazing, so clear and such a different view to the one i was used to. We
arrived at the stone circle and enjoyed the sunshine and relaxation, to
be at the stones without thousands of people and hundreds of flares was
a strange experience, it was relaxing and lovely and not the usual
manicness i tend to feel when arriving there through the Glastonbury
nights.
The farm still held the same feelings of excitment, merriment and
warm happiness inside, it was so great to see it in its natural
enviroment and the farm living and growing, normally when i leave i see
such choas and ruined land and feel it must take years to repair but
from what i see this weekend the crops grow, the grass is green and the
cows have the best land to graize on.
Once again Glastonbury great times, roll on 2013.
I just like this. As at the end of it all, all that matters is love,
peace and happiness not all the other rubbish we soak our live’s in.
