I have woken today with a heavy heart and a reflective mind, it's a question I have been asking myself for a while, what does care look like to me? How do I know others care or show they care and how do I muddle through this world of friendship, family, work, life knowing how to care for others and how they care for me.
Care: the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.
I know I show care through communication, it's my go to, whether that's dedicated quality time with someone, words of love, support and commitment to being present and loyal. I believe this is the way I also look after myself, being honest and real with how I think and feel and ensuring I listen to what's best for me. Allowing myself quality time and commitment to my needs and time allows a better me.
In my work I show I care through counselling, I feel it's my gift to support and empower young women and men to overcome trauma and find their way back into this world after horrific abuse and assault. However how I care in my work is different to my care in friendships as I don't expect anything back from my young people, just for them to attend and commit to finding their path to recover.
This post links similarly to another blog I wanted to write and have been hesitant as I know it feels a tricky one to navigate, female friendships, I guess when I reflect on female friendships they have changed, grown and lost, they have been some of the biggest life lessons and some of the biggest hurts but when I look at them all communication was either the growth or loss in them all.
I feel I also don't help myself as I am aware of my strength and commitment to my own care, life has brought up so many challenges that I have had to navigate a lot of self development and find what's important to me, my values and morals have defiantly been challenged and tested and it's taken me time to find what the core of them are, I feel I am close, not fully there but I know what's important and one thing is there being a balance in friendship, a balance in care, that it's not just a one way process. I know I am a person who likes to support others but recently I have realised I don't always get that back and why that is I will never know.
When I moved back to Newcastle it wasn't easy, my main community i was friends with before had moved away and I knew another friendship group was changing, i didn't feel a place there. It was a new challenge for me and once again it felt I was starting again, I guess that's a reflection in itself the amount of times I have made changes in my life which means I have had to find new friendships and make new connections. Sometimes I feel I am constantly navigating this world and I know I have a few very close ones, I do still miss my core favourites, I guess that's where my love language of quality time comes in, making sure I spend time away and commit to the importance of those friendships.
We bumble along in this life, enjoying and embracing it, friendships change, people change but does the way we care change? How do we chose how we care and what navigates us to this way of being. I guess for me I have realised there's only so much I can give and if it's not equal I question the importance and place for it.
Maybe I am always going to be reflecting and questioning this, as I move through life I make stronger friendships with more meaning and depth then I have ever felt, we look for different aspects in people as we grow and I thank the ones around me, holding, supporting and communicating through this tricky stage of life.
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