Tuesday 25 September 2018

What does your family look like?


It's interesting, people's perception of what a family is and what it should look like... I wonder if asked how many of us would include kids in that.. as you all know our family doesn't contain kids, will it? who knows, it does contain a curly haired southerner, a long dog and me! This family of mine I have been trying to grow for a few years now, it's not happening in the way we hoped and since then a dog and a van has entered our lives, to which others have also asked 'are you sure' - how do we know when were ever sure what's the right thing... how many life events do we fall into and are we ever sure?

We have decided to grow our family a bit more and have made the decision to get another dog, a puppy... before we announce too much we have to go meet the little squirt and puppify the house. The few people we have told have responded with some rather random things.. the main being 'ARE YOU SURE?' -  however the really interesting one being how big a commitment it is and how will Socks cope. The psychology of this makes me laugh as surely that baby were trying for is a bigger deal then a puppy?!?! Of course, I don't deny a puppy will be hard work but the reality of the question in terms of why is an odd one to me, as why not? In comparison out of the two why is a puppy such a big deal but a baby isn't - that's an exciting deal. Then the 2nd worry of how Socks will be, jealous, left out, not cared for. How many of us think any of these things when it comes to a 2nd child? Does anyone say 'are you sure' or is it met with congratulations and excitement, surely two kids is bigger than two dogs, however comments aren't made and comparisons aren't shared as producing children is just what we do right? well for some! growing a family of kids is 'normal' but dogs - well that's just a big deal.



Sam and I may never have kids, our family may only be us and our dogs (and chickens), it's not the family I thought we would have, but it's one I love and gives me so much joy and pleasure. Were an odd little bunch we know that, but we love that. Were not where we expected, were far from it but we adjust and manage that. Where not always jubilant when we hear the news of another baby being born, were a bit broken underneath and sometimes it's too hard to find that piece of the jigsaw to celebrate, we get there but we know our family right now doesn't have that, and it hurts that we don't, we muster through, glue ourselves back together and heal. It's lovely seeing families grow, I am so happy other's don't always have to go through what were going through and can grow in the way they hoped.

My family though, it's growing differently and just because it's leftfield to what others assume it should, doesn't mean it provides anymore comment or shock, this is how were choosing to grow it and you know what... its making us dead happy!