It's interesting, people's perception of what a family is
and what it should look like... I wonder if asked how many of us would include
kids in that.. as you all know our family doesn't contain kids, will it? who
knows, it does contain a curly haired southerner, a long dog and me! This
family of mine I have been trying to grow for a few years now, it's not
happening in the way we hoped and since then a dog and a van has entered our
lives, to which others have also asked 'are you sure' - how do we know when
were ever sure what's the right thing... how many life events do we fall into
and are we ever sure?
We have decided to grow our family a bit more and have made
the decision to get another dog, a puppy... before we announce too much we have
to go meet the little squirt and puppify the house. The few people we have told
have responded with some rather random things.. the main being 'ARE YOU SURE?'
- however the really interesting one
being how big a commitment it is and how will Socks cope. The psychology of
this makes me laugh as surely that baby were trying for is a bigger deal then a
puppy?!?! Of course, I don't deny a puppy will be hard work but the reality of
the question in terms of why is an odd one to me, as why not? In comparison out
of the two why is a puppy such a big deal but a baby isn't - that's an exciting
deal. Then the 2nd worry of how Socks will be, jealous, left out, not cared
for. How many of us think any of these things when it comes to a 2nd child?
Does anyone say 'are you sure' or is it met with congratulations and
excitement, surely two kids is bigger than two dogs, however comments aren't
made and comparisons aren't shared as producing children is just what we do
right? well for some! growing a family of kids is 'normal' but dogs - well
that's just a big deal.
Sam and I may never have kids, our family may only be us and
our dogs (and chickens), it's not the family I thought we would have, but it's
one I love and gives me so much joy and pleasure. Were an odd little bunch we
know that, but we love that. Were not where we expected, were far from it but
we adjust and manage that. Where not always jubilant when we hear the news of
another baby being born, were a bit broken underneath and sometimes it's too
hard to find that piece of the jigsaw to celebrate, we get there but we know
our family right now doesn't have that, and it hurts that we don't, we muster
through, glue ourselves back together and heal. It's lovely seeing families
grow, I am so happy other's don't always have to go through what were going
through and can grow in the way they hoped.
My family though, it's growing differently and just because
it's leftfield to what others assume it should, doesn't mean it provides
anymore comment or shock, this is how were choosing to grow it and you know
what... its making us dead happy!
