Today at work I learnt an old Polish Proverb that reads, ‘Not my Circus, not my Monkeys’ – it instantly connected to me, a mental image of monkeys climbing on my back and me doing all I could to bat them away, get those crawling monkeys off, there clingy hands holding on and the stress taking over to remove them and shout your not mine, go away.
How often I take on the ringleader in so many circuses of life, even when it’s not my circus I have always seemed to end up in the middle of it all, wondering how I remove myself and like the proverb says, get these monkey’s off me.
My main drama was always with friends, it was painful at times and hurt a lot how my circus with friends seems to have lessened over the years, I spend my time with a few close friends who don’t bring drama, we mainly discuss dogs, crafting, feminism, recycling, wine, tea and cake. Over the years I would be pulled into the drama of everyone’s life and revelled in some weird pain of taking on everyone’s emotion’s and trying to fix things. I don’t know if this is the ‘counsellor’ in me or the friend that likes to see others happy, whatever it was though I soon realised it was getting me down and slowly breaking me. The day I took insight into myself and made steps to back away from the drama I realised how much lighter and happier it made me.
Sometimes, some days that squirmy feeling creeps in though when a situation arises and my fixing wand comes out, it may not be as involved but its creeping on the outside trying to poke its way in to wave a magic spell and make it all okay, which ultimately makes me feel pap and again stressed out.
I was sharing with my Manager at work today a situation that’s recently occurred, when she said, ‘it’s not your monkey’ leave it, at first, I laughed, what monkey?! with further explanation it all made sense – the monkeys the circus, how many times have I took on the ring leader role and ended up trying to train all elements of the circus and then being disappointed at failing? It’s at times made me so broke and sad and took a long time to heal from it. This proverb just made me look back, reflect and think if it’s not mine to take care of then leave it to someone else to look after. If it’s not my monkey to take care of it’s not my monkey to train.
My husband is great for being my balance, he lets me rant then just asks ‘why are you getting involved’ he knows what gets to me and what stresses me and knows what I need to leave alone. Sam basically knows what’s not my monkeys better than I do.
So in that when something unfolds I will ask myself, who is the ringmaster, which monkeys are mine (if any), is this my circus.
Sometimes letting others sort their own monkeys out is kinder then me doing it for them.
How often I take on the ringleader in so many circuses of life, even when it’s not my circus I have always seemed to end up in the middle of it all, wondering how I remove myself and like the proverb says, get these monkey’s off me.
My main drama was always with friends, it was painful at times and hurt a lot how my circus with friends seems to have lessened over the years, I spend my time with a few close friends who don’t bring drama, we mainly discuss dogs, crafting, feminism, recycling, wine, tea and cake. Over the years I would be pulled into the drama of everyone’s life and revelled in some weird pain of taking on everyone’s emotion’s and trying to fix things. I don’t know if this is the ‘counsellor’ in me or the friend that likes to see others happy, whatever it was though I soon realised it was getting me down and slowly breaking me. The day I took insight into myself and made steps to back away from the drama I realised how much lighter and happier it made me.
Sometimes, some days that squirmy feeling creeps in though when a situation arises and my fixing wand comes out, it may not be as involved but its creeping on the outside trying to poke its way in to wave a magic spell and make it all okay, which ultimately makes me feel pap and again stressed out.
I was sharing with my Manager at work today a situation that’s recently occurred, when she said, ‘it’s not your monkey’ leave it, at first, I laughed, what monkey?! with further explanation it all made sense – the monkeys the circus, how many times have I took on the ring leader role and ended up trying to train all elements of the circus and then being disappointed at failing? It’s at times made me so broke and sad and took a long time to heal from it. This proverb just made me look back, reflect and think if it’s not mine to take care of then leave it to someone else to look after. If it’s not my monkey to take care of it’s not my monkey to train.
My husband is great for being my balance, he lets me rant then just asks ‘why are you getting involved’ he knows what gets to me and what stresses me and knows what I need to leave alone. Sam basically knows what’s not my monkeys better than I do.
So in that when something unfolds I will ask myself, who is the ringmaster, which monkeys are mine (if any), is this my circus.
Sometimes letting others sort their own monkeys out is kinder then me doing it for them.
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