You won't be doing that?

Becoming pregnant has been an interesting transition for myself, how quickly others experiences of parenthood become your own (with or without choice) and how suddenly the life you once lived your told will change forever and you won't be able to do as you did before.

My first thought around this is, of course life is going to change, our life's changed 2yrs ago when daily injections, internal examinations, limited travel, timings of holidays and taking trigger shots in theatre toilets became our life. Our life has been limited to a lot of things since IVF started, it's not just changing as were now pregnant. I think sometimes people miss this point, my trying to conceive journey hasn't been like yours, life has been self limiting for some time now.

After another cancelled holiday, and missing out on a good friends wedding (zika virus country) we decided it was time a home on wheels entered our lives and we decided to purchase a campervan, Betty joined our lives, we cleared her, cleaned her and built her into a camper fit for 2 cosy people and a rather large dog. We knew a van was something we had wanted for some time and always knew camping and vanning would be part of our (hopefully kids life) so decided if IVF was stopping our adventures well at least with the van we could still be free just more UK based. We have had two wonderful Springs and Summers in the van and plan to fit another Spring time adventure before the babe is due. 

I have been informed i won't want to be away in my van when the babe comes, festivals are a thing of the past and being outdoors is so much harder that its not worth it. Maybe all these things are true for others but for us, it's part of who we are, does that just vanish when another life joins my world. I hope not as this identity thing is gonna crash again big time! 

Experience is interesting, valid at times but also self limiting, what's one person's experience doesn't have to be another's. I remember one year being away in our tent in Pembrokeshire and next to us were 3 families, NCT friends who all had come together with their babes, to camp/van out on the coast. As we spoke to one family she shared why would you not bring your little's here, if there crying inside they may as well be outside. That baby was teeny and since then we have met other families doing the same, isn't there an ingrained part of you that just attempts to carry on and show your babe the things you love?

I understand that's not easy for us all, post natal depression, baby blue's, single parenting, whatever the reason sometimes life does stop you enjoying the old part of you but for me, if i can, i hope i do as at times i can feel others opinions graining down on me and questioning is it okay to take my babe away in the van when there this little?

There are so many instagram accounts i follow, living this outdoor life with little's and they inspire me daily to do the same here are some of my favourites: Mamalina - ethical way of living and exploring, The Memory Collector - my wonderful friend Lauren, taking Europe by storm with her two wild and wonderful boys, Junkaholique - Armetis and her camper, caravan and bell tent, exploring the UK with her two babes, Solsearchers - a new find to me but a lovely family away with their new born babe exploring Spain. There are some of my very good friends also Nelli, Beth and Clare taking on camping holidays and festivals by storm. Clare is even taking her 2 boys to Glastonbury this year, so jealous! 

Were hoping when babe does arrive a 10 day trip around the lakes in Sept, meeting friends (Beth, Cian, Jacob and their new babe) and many small weekends more local in the wilds of Northumberland. 

So whatever your adventure (or not) maybe don't push what your experience of parenthood is, it maybe like that for you and others but the more you say it out loud the more it becomes the opinion of all. There's a number of parents out there living the adventurous life we wish for and maybe i will eat my words but for now it's keeping me going, making me excited and allowing motherhood not to seem so all consuming.